Due to our crunch-induced downgrade in training facilities and our lack of a coaching sponsor (accepting applications), we had doubts over our ability to compete at a high level at this year’s GMSR. Goals were set accordingly: I aimed for a top 16 in the time trial and ADM had sights set on a top 21 finish. And we weren’t disappointed. Both nestled safely in placings of obscurity, we were poised to attack and attack we did. On the first road stage, ADM got into a lethally serious move that gained time on all the GC leaders who were forced to chase. The race came down to a field sprint and I credit ADM with ensuring that outcome. He paid dearly but his one small break was a giant leap for masterkind. Thanks ADM.

The next day my coach from when I was a junior suggested in the parking lot that the early move sometimes stays away so I attacked from the parking lot. Four of us established a three minute lead which turned into a five minute lead for two of us who made it over Brandon Gap together. Now I know what you’re thinking — It’s the Bandit Grand Tour Team so of course they got a guy in there and they probably extended the lead all the way to the finish. Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, troopers, but the rest of the day was anything but pleasant. Two hours trying desperately to hang on to the wheel in front of me was capped off by getting stone cold dropped, caught by the field and left for dead, being passed by everything but the snow plows. Then we got drunk. And not just a little drunk — I’m talking junior prom drunk. And after all these months of deprivation, it was fun. And that was our stage race. I tried a couple laps of criterium fun but realized in a hurry that life on the Upper East Side of Manhattan is no training for crit racing. We just don’t roll like that.

So now the off season is upon us and the Grand Tour team couldn’t be happier. ADM might race a couple more times but the team has officially disbanded, being absorbed by the Classics Team. You may see us out on the open road but it will just be for fun. And if you see the doors open at headquarters, please feel free to stop in for a cookie and some laughs. It’ll be grand.

Back on the bike, after a six-week break and a few new custom titanium components.

RT is first across the line at the Lou Maltese Memorial race, taking the individual win and giving the Bandits third place in the team competition. Photo by Phil Penman.

NEW YORK CITY– Shortly after his win in the Century Road Club Association race on Saturday, ADM announced that he was in negotiations with an as yet undisclosed professional team and would be leaving Bandit Racing effective immediately.

“It’s clear that we are the number one amateur team in the Northeast, and maybe even New England,” said team manager Jeff King, “but ADM has taken his riding to the next level and the world really needs more pro bike racers these days.” Feeling that he more than held his own against Rock Racing during the previous week’s race in Brooklyn, New York, ADM decided that Saturday’s win was confirmation that it was time to move on. Asked if he would continue with his hobby as a high-powered lawyer ADM responded, “Absolutely. I see no reason why I can’t do both. I often sleep 3, sometimes even 4, hours a night, and by cutting back on that by just 2 or 3 hours I know I’ll be able to get in the training necessary to compete at the next level.” Some have already questioned whether being 38 might be a little old to start a pro career, but ADM pointed out that although his USCF license lists his age as 38, he’s only 37 for the remainder of the racing season. A teary-eyed Matt “Lefty” Loftus remarked “We’ll miss the little guy, but it’s time for him to show the world what he can do.”

ENGLEWOOD, NJ — Proving once again that local cycling teams are not immune from the subprime woes, Bandit Racing has announced that it has been forced to sell, at a loss, Bandit Racing World Headquarters.

The team had purchased Bandit HQ in December 2007. The identity of the buyer of the former Bandit HQ has not been disclosed, but a Bandit spokesman revealed that the purchaser is a consortium of triathletes who are not very good with acronyms. Many aspects of what the Bandits had hoped would be a state-of-the-art training facility, including the low-speed wind tunnel, 1000 square foot weight room, PowerZone(TM) and cigar bar have already been installed and will now be used by triathletes on hybrids and mountain bikes.

After purchasing Bandit HQ with only a small down payment, the team quickly realized the monthly mortgage costs were simply too great given the current economic crisis. “It was just more than a fancy partner at a big New York law firm and an academic could afford,” said Matt Loftus, a grad student. “This sucks,” said Justin, another Bandit team member.

“It’s unfortunate this had to happen,” said Matt Howard, “but our replacement digs are going to be great.” Just up the road from the former Bandit HQ, the team has purchased two buildings (pictured below) to serve as a base for its operations and new Bandit Regional Headquarters.

The team’s new Regional Headquarters.

“The old World HQ was awesome, but I think the new regional facility will allow us to refocus on what’s really important in cycling… wattage numbers,” stated Jeff King. He continued, “we have spent too much focusing on racing, strategy, teamwork and the like, but the true fundamentals of what cycling is all about is wattage numbers.” Asked if weight was another important number to consider Mr. King responded, while eating fried chicken, “that’s BS… nobody believes that.”

Ryan Tie and ADM described the new buildings as “derelict,” “not fancy at all” and “the type of place where people get murdered” but remained positive about the move. Chris Carmichael was less generous, and told reporters that the Bandits were “among the worst 275″ groups he has lent his name to over the past five years.

Despite the setback, Bandit Racing is still confident that they can be competitive and are still “in it to win it” in 2008.