Team Purchases New Regional Headquarters

ENGLEWOOD, NJ — Proving once again that local cycling teams are not immune from the subprime woes, Bandit Racing has announced that it has been forced to sell, at a loss, Bandit Racing World Headquarters.

The team had purchased Bandit HQ in December 2007. The identity of the buyer of the former Bandit HQ has not been disclosed, but a Bandit spokesman revealed that the purchaser is a consortium of triathletes who are not very good with acronyms. Many aspects of what the Bandits had hoped would be a state-of-the-art training facility, including the low-speed wind tunnel, 1000 square foot weight room, PowerZone(TM) and cigar bar have already been installed and will now be used by triathletes on hybrids and mountain bikes.

After purchasing Bandit HQ with only a small down payment, the team quickly realized the monthly mortgage costs were simply too great given the current economic crisis. “It was just more than a fancy partner at a big New York law firm and an academic could afford,” said Matt Loftus, a grad student. “This sucks,” said Justin, another Bandit team member.

“It’s unfortunate this had to happen,” said Matt Howard, “but our replacement digs are going to be great.” Just up the road from the former Bandit HQ, the team has purchased two buildings (pictured below) to serve as a base for its operations and new Bandit Regional Headquarters.

The team’s new Regional Headquarters.

“The old World HQ was awesome, but I think the new regional facility will allow us to refocus on what’s really important in cycling… wattage numbers,” stated Jeff King. He continued, “we have spent too much focusing on racing, strategy, teamwork and the like, but the true fundamentals of what cycling is all about is wattage numbers.” Asked if weight was another important number to consider Mr. King responded, while eating fried chicken, “that’s BS… nobody believes that.”

Ryan Tie and ADM described the new buildings as “derelict,” “not fancy at all” and “the type of place where people get murdered” but remained positive about the move. Chris Carmichael was less generous, and told reporters that the Bandits were “among the worst 275″ groups he has lent his name to over the past five years.

Despite the setback, Bandit Racing is still confident that they can be competitive and are still “in it to win it” in 2008.

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